


it's not gay if...

by Anonymous



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, One sided Kaoru/Souma, Rebound (?), dumb teenagers + alcohol, of sorts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-01 11:52:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13997730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Kaoru's not-so-subtle crush on a certain kouhai gets picked up by the one person who knows exactly how to turn it back on him.Or, Kaoru experiences the entire spectrum of human emotions in the span of about a week. Bisexual crises occur.





	it's not gay if...

**Author's Note:**

> i.. was going to write a whole story about kaorus mega bi crisis but i lost interest so heres the 10? 11? thousand words i managed to put out before my braincells abandoned me.  
> rated mature cus they get a bit handsy at the end but nothing explicit cus im Bad at that stuff
> 
> also theres a fun game you can play while reading this called i spy where you identify memes and very specific pop culture references that i couldnt resist shoving in because im weak. let me know if you find any i wanna know how obvious i am Mgflhjd

It wasn't that Kaoru had an interest in Souma.

No, it wasn't anything like that - at least, not the same kind of interest that he held for girls. Girls were soft and fun and were able to lighten Kaoru's mood after a particularly bad morning, which was more than what could be said of his fellow marine biology club member.

See, Souma was harsh, his voice loud and aggressive, and his entire frame screamed noisy as he waved that blasted sword around for the most inane of reasons. Rather than calm him, Souma made him stressed, and that was surely a sentiment that was returned wholeheartedly. And while Kaoru would love to talk to Souma - he was knowledgeable in many areas, after all - conversing would be hard when the kid made it clear at every instant that he would rather just stab him to death.

So no, Kaoru was not interested in Souma.

At least, that's what he told himself, as he made his way down the empty corridor after classes in the direction of the marine biology clubroom for the third time that month.

The first time it had been only Souma inside, and Kaoru had found himself chased out in less than twenty seconds flat. It was by some fortunate miracle that Kanata had chosen that moment to appear from wherever it was that he came from, because if he had been any later Kaoru was quite sure that the only performance he'd be appearing in any time soon would be his own funeral (the name 'UNDEAD' be damned).

The second time had been more amicable, since Kaoru had reached the room with Kanata before Souma did. Souma was about seventy percent less likely to go for his life, after all, when the club captain was around. And so that day had been quite nice - Kanata had told Souma to teach Kaoru how to clean the fish tanks.

The cleaning part was less nice, since Kaoru wasn't really actually interested in the fish and whatever else it was that they kept in there, but it gave him somewhat of an excuse to be around Souma and watch the way his hair swished behind him as he reached up to wipe at the glass. Kaoru could laugh and tease him about his height when the younger boy couldn't _quite_ reach the top of the tank, and Souma could only scowl under the watchful eyes of Kanata, his fingers never quite reaching his scabbard out of fear and respect of their ever-present captain.

"You still have a fair way to grow, Souma-kyun," Kaoru laughed, easily spreading himself out to his full height and reaching the top of the glass. He had only a few more centimetres on the boy, but a few centimetres were very useful at a time like this. "What would Adonis-kun say? Eat more meat?"

"I eat plenty of meat, thank you," Souma scowled, turning his eyes away from Kaoru. He had a slight blush to his cheeks, tinging his face in a way that looked absolutely _adorable_ under the flashy lights of the fish tank.

The rest of that time had followed in a similar way, and by the end of the day Souma had even spat out a thank you to Kaoru for his help, the words sounding foreign on his tongue when directed towards him. The gesture made Kaoru feel fuzzy inside, and it took only the threat to be cut in half to stop him from reaching out his arms and pulling his adorable underclassman into a tight (and very heterosexual) hug.

It was Tuesday now, nearly a week later, and Kaoru was in a good mood. His day had been great - he'd scored well on a math test that he really hadn't studied for, and he'd gotten texts back from no less than seven (seven!) girls during lunch. He felt like Tuesday was becoming his good day - good enough for him to take his luck at swinging by the club room again and perhaps spend some quality time with his club mates, and enjoy his youth the way typical Japanese high schoolers tended to do.

He hummed to himself as he walked over towards the club room, an excerpt of his solo part in the newest song UNDEAD were working on. His voice surprisingly on-tune for someone who had shown up to practice it exactly once since the song's conception. However, he wasn't sure about the whole song yet since he'd only paid attention to his own part, and so he was stuck repeating that same section over and over again and unable to go any further. He made a mental reminder to himself to maybe drop by band practice sometime that week, although he was more than likely to forget that, probably.

It was easy to spot the blue door leading into the Marine Life Club, with its large wooden sign and stickers plastered over the top practically screaming that it was a club of zero responsibilities, and Kaoru swung it open with a cheerful smile before walking in. "Afternoon~" he called out.

And then, Kaoru's Tuesday became a little less great.

See, down on the floor, leaning against the largest fish tank that was home to Amaterasu-omikami the cuttlefish, was Adonis Otogari.

That in itself was kind of strange, because Adonis wasn't a part of the marine biology club. However, even stranger than the fact that Adonis was here in his club room was the fact that sitting on top of him, pulling back from a kiss, was a slightly dishevelled and very embarrassed Kanzaki Souma.

"Hakaze-senpai-" Adonis started.

"Disgrace-" Souma said at the same time.

"I'msorryIshouldn'thavecomeherebye-" Kaoru managed to stutter out before the other two could finish their sentences, immediately turning heel and slamming the door behind him.

He took a few steps away from the door at first, until reality caught up to him and he slid to the ground, his back against the wall. Did he really just - was that really Souma sitting on _top_ of Adonis? And - okay, there was no pretending they were doing anything _other_ than making out, right in front of Amaterasu-omikami's tank.

Currently, his heart was hammering away in his chest, feeling like it was going to burst out of his ribcage and kill him instantly. The fight-or-flight response sure was something, if the way everything around him felt too-bright and excessive and the sound of his blood pounding through his ears meant anything.

Seeing Souma and Adonis together... Kaoru felt sick. "Two guys," Kaoru murmured, his voice sounding unlike himself. He shook his head. No, that wasn't the problem. He had no issue with two guys making out, because people were free to love whoever they wanted, regardless of gender

No, for Kaoru, the problem was definitely...

"Souma-kyun was never going to look at me, huh?" he laughed quietly, his voice cracking only slightly towards the end.

 

* * *

 

Kaoru couldn't bring himself to go back to the marine life clubroom.

It wasn't that he was afraid of what he'd see there - he had no reason to be, because it wasn't any of his business after all and had nothing to do with him. No, it wasn't that, but rather that he felt that _because_ it wasn't his business he should leave Souma and Adonis to attend to their own devices, instead of being an awkward third wheel whose presence didn't do anything for the club, anyway.

However avoiding club removed one place from the list of things Kaoru could do when he didn't want to go home. He was left with going on dates, going to UNDEAD practice, or going home anyway. Obviously, he would like to go out on dates, however most of the girls he often chose to spend time with were in the midst of studying for exams. Kaoru was considerate above all else, and wouldn't invite them out at such a time on the chance they might feel obligated to come.

And so Kaoru found himself standing outside the practice room he hadn't been to in weeks, hearing the sound of Koga's guitar through the door and Rei's voice humming along to their latest track.

He didn't knock as he entered, because why should he, as a real member of the group? No, Kaoru simply opened the door and walked in with a smile, revelling at the expression of shock on Koga's face and the raise of Rei's brow.

"Well shit, look who the cat dragged in," Koga muttered, his fingers stalling on the chord he'd been about to play.

"Aha, nice to see you too, doggie," Kaoru waved.

"If doggie didn't say something, I'd have thought my eyes were deceiving me again," Rei mused.

"Well, uh, surprise," Kaoru muttered, dumping his bag against the wall. "How's everyone doing this evening? What are we up to?"

"There's no UNDEAD practice today," Rei said, putting his sheet music to the side and folding his hands against his lap. "Adonis-kun has a track club meet, so doggie and I were just playing some music to pass the time."

Oh, music. Right - they were in the light music club. Did that mean those twins were going to show up out of nowhere, too? Honestly Kaoru was only good at singing. He could read sheet music, and maybe a little bit of keyboard if he had the chance, but nothing compared to the well-rounded practice of these two. "Okay, I'll just sit here then. Don't worry about me," Kaoru said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his phone.

"Don't you have a date or some shit?" Koga asked, turning his attention back to the music stand and starting to play again. "Or did those girls grow eyes and reject you?"

"It's exam season. Must be tough going to a school that actually paid attention to academic pursuits, huh?" Kaoru mused, before sighing dramatically. Yumenosaki fulfilled the basic academic requirements to have their graduation actually count as a high-school diploma, but it was nothing compared to well... any other _real_ school. "I hope Kimika-chan does well on her chemistry exam today, she's been stressing for weeks."

"Oi, if you're gonna be here can you like, shut up? We're working on something," Koga snapped, giving a pointed glare towards Kaoru.

Kaoru blinked. It wasn't anything new for Koga to be a bit aggressive with his speech, but this was a little of the top; Kaoru was feeling slightly unwelcome. He thought about getting up and heading over to the marine life club room instead, but the thought of seeing Souma at the moment had his stomach doing flips.

Several days passed in the same vein. Kaoru did meet up with some girls as well, but as examinations closed in dates became fewer and further between, and Kaoru was left with no choice but to either head home in silence or sweat it out with a bunch of boisterous guys. He still hadn't mustered up the courage to show his face in the clubroom, and so for the third time that week (a new record, really) Kaoru found himself sliding open the door to another one of UNDEAD's practice sessions.

Practice wasn't bad - it kept his mind occupied and stopped him from overthinking things. Rei was as strict as ever, forcing Kaoru to redo his dance moves or try his lines again if even the slightest thing wasn't perfect, and honestly it was tiring Kaoru out. However, being exhausted kept Kaoru from noticing the really not-so-subtle glances Adonis kept shooting towards him, causing the hair on his neck to stand up in anticipation of whatever would come next.

So far, Adonis hadn't said anything. They had never really talked, anyway, even before Kaoru had caught him making out with Souma on the floor of the clubroom. They'd been amicable, yes, but they'd never had a one-on-one moment with each other where they hung out as friends, rather than just bandmates.

And now that Adonis was the reason Kaoru's heart had - although he would deny it to the ends of the earth - been feeling all sorts of awful, bruising pains lately, Kaoru felt even less inclined to voluntarily put himself in the same conversation as him. Adonis wasn't a bad guy - Kaoru knew this, however at the moment the amount of weird tension between them was making him nothing short of extremely uncomfortable.

The clock was reaching six, and since Adonis had a curfew of sorts, UNDEAD's practice had to cut it there. Kaoru considered texting a girl and ask her out for dinner. His dad would be home tonight, after all, and he didn't want to be around for that. His phone was still in his bag, so he walked over to where he'd unceremoniously dumped it earlier and started rummaging, only to be interrupted just as his fingers clasped around his phone.

"Hakaze-senpai," Adonis called. "Do you have a moment?"

Kaoru paused, and turned to face his bandmate. "Depends on what you want," he said with a laugh, before giving a not-so-subtle glance towards the clock hanging on the wall.

"I have... things that I wish to speak to you about, " he said.

The vague nature of his words irked Kaoru. "Like?" he asked.

Adonis glanced to the side. "Regarding Kanzaki," he said, his voice quieter.

Kaoru raised a hand to his head, running his fingers through his hair. "If this is about the other day," he started, "don't worry. I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to. Is that it?" he asked, making sure to keep his face as impassive as possible, because this conversation totally wasn't making him uncomfortable or anything, nope.

The expression on Adonis' face brightened. "Ah, really? That... would be great," Adonis said. "Kanzaki is still not keen on letting out relationship being public knowledge-" Adonis started.

Kaoru lifted his hand out to stop Adonis. "Listen, Dodo-kun. Not to be mean but I really couldn't care less about the relationship between two guys," he said. Not a complete lie - he didn't care. About most guy's relationships, that is. Souma and Adonis were an exception (and only Souma, really), but he didn't need to know that.

Adonis nodded. "I've been worried for a week now that we might have made you uncomfortable," Adonis said, his eyes averting. "We didn't really mean to... I mean," he paused, and looked up towards Kaoru. "Um, Hakaze-senpai, are you okay?"

Kaoru blinked, before opening his mouth. Lord, he had been making some kind of awful facial expression, hadn't he? Shaking himself, Kaoru smiled at Adonis. "I'm just tired from practice. Sakuma-san really drives us up the wall, huh?"

"Well with our live coming up soon he doesn't quite have the choice. We sound a lot better now, though, so thank you for coming to practice," Adonis said.

Wait. What?

"Sorry, did you say a _live_?" Kaoru repeated, voice shocked.

"Are you telling me you didn't know we have a fucking live _next week_?" Koga snarled, suddenly appearing between him and Adonis. "And here I thought you were showing up here because you actually cared about our unit. What the fuck have you been coming here for then, if not to practice for it?" he asked.

"Oh, I uh. It must have slipped my mind," Kaoru said, looking away. Well, that certainly explained why the other three had been working so hard, and now Kaoru felt _slightly_ bad about how much he'd been skipping.

"Thank fuck you don't do anything but sing. You'd be useless in a real band, y'know," Koga snapped.

"Now now, don't be too cruel to Kaoru-kun. He's been trying his best this week, hasn't he?" Rei said, clapping his hands to bring an end to the (one-sided) conflict.

"Should I pick up guitar then? Girls love that," Kaoru said.

"Don't you dare touch something as sacred as the guitar with your stupid flirty intentions. Music has _feelings_ ," Koga said.

"Mhm, I get that, yeah," Kaoru said, waving his hands. He picked up his bag from the floor and swung it over his shoulder. "We're all done here? Because I have to go," Kaoru said, before heading out the door before anyone else could get a word in sideways.

He didn't really have to go -  in fact, he had no plans whatsoever. However standing outside by himself in the busy streets of Tokyo for some reason felt a hell of a lot better than being held under Adonis' cautious, piercing gaze, the feelings of guilt and anxiety eating him up from within.

 

* * *

 

The night of their live finally came, an Kaoru's state of mind was as frazzled as it had ever been. He didn't quite remember the past few weeks, with him going to practice every day and living as a husk of himself to avoid as much interaction as possible, but somehow he'd done a decent enough job to not get stabbed to death by the oddly perfectionist streak that Koga often got when it was time for them to perform.

Their uniforms were freshly washed and creased, all with the exception of Kaoru's pants. He'd somehow gotten thinner since their last performance, and they'd had to last-minute buy him a new pair of those shiny leather pants he was partial to, stressing poor Anzu because it nearly hadn't come on time.

There was still some time before the performance, and all the members were off on their own to mentally prepare. Koga was sitting on a chair, a spare guitar in hand strumming over the strings. Rei was talking to Wataru who had shown up with the largest and most impractical bouquet of flowers Kaoru had ever seen in his life, their conversations unintelligible amongst the noise that was coming from every direction around them.

And then there was...

"I came to cheer you on," he heard Souma say in that meek voice of his, and Adonis laughed.

"Thank you, Kanzaki," he said in that stupidly soft tone that he only had around the other boy, and Kaoru couldn't help but feel a prick of pain under his skin like a cut that hadn't quite healed.

"I'm excited to hear your new song," Souma said.

Kaoru wasn't eavesdropping. He just happened to be in earshot with nothing else to do.

"Didn't you call our music loud and ghastly just a few months ago?" Adonis asked.

"That was a few months ago," Souma said defensively. "Since then I've gotten myself more accustomed to _rokku_ music. I can almost appreciate the harmony of the electric guitar and the drums."

Adonis laughed. "I'm glad. We've been practicing hard. Maybe soon we'll even beat you in a Dreamfest."

Souma scoffed. "You are several years too early to take down Akatsuki, Adonis-dono. However, I await the day where I can face against you again, perhaps this time as a more even match."

"That kind of cocky attitude is exactly what caused Fine to fall, you know," Adonis said.

Souma huffed. "Believe what you want. I will not lose to you."

Their tiff had no malice to it. Kaoru averted his gaze elsewhere.

"Alright boys, stage in three minutes," Rei called, clapping his hands, and Kaoru quickly got up from his seat to follow their leader out the door. Next was Koga, his eyes gaining that spark they had when he was letting the energy get the better of him. He looked excited, rather than just his usual angry, his mood usually infectious and causing everyone to get riled up alongside them.

And when Adonis appeared with a blush on his face just a minute before they walked on, suddenly the tiny prick of pain Kaoru had felt grew tenfold to a stab in the gut.

However, when the lights came on just seconds later, Kaoru had no time to think about himself anymore. His only job from then on was step onto the stage and impress the thousands of fangirls that were no doubt waiting for him to show them exactly what it was they went there to see.

 

* * *

 

Their live was a grand success.

Kaoru had been more into it than usual, every syllable he belted into the microphone gripped in his hands making the bruise on his heart fade just a little more. Catharsis, is what he would call it, however nobody but him would know the true reason as to why he seemed to sing with so much more vigour than he ever had before. Vaguely, he realized that perhaps he'd be expected to sing at this level from here on out, now that it was clear he had the potential, but that was a dilemma he could save for the next time.

Maybe if he sang his heart out now, he could lose the rest of himself, too.

However it was something easier said than done; all things done and dusted, Adonis was still his band mate. Adonis didn't deserve to be the victim of this passive-not-quite-aggressive jealousy Kaoru was harbouring for god knows what reason, especially when he didn't know he was receiving it. Kaoru felt so bad, but for some reason he was unable to stop himself from the ugly feelings welling up from deep inside him.  Sure he could sing and pour out the feelings of the world's shortest unrequited crush, but somehow just seeing the root cause of it all in his peripheral vision at any given time had his voice near-wavering.

The rest of their performance was a blur. One moment he had been singing, the microphone clutched tightly around his fingers, and the next he had been dancing, the moves clear cut and ingrained into his muscle memory as his body moved on auto-pilot. Then it had been Rei's solo, and seeing Rei perform without restraints was something else entirely.

Rei was - or had been, at least - one of the best talents at Yumenosaki Academy, with his rolling voice and sensual lyrics enough to bring even Kaoru's heart to a stop. Seeing him perform giving everything he had, without his vampire schmuck or old man persona was enough to make Kaoru wonder how Tenshouin had ever beat him in the first place.

Perhaps he had been too good, because Kaoru found himself lost in Rei's song, not even registering that it was time for him to get back on stage until Koga was literally dragging him by the hand, too busy trying to catch up to schedule to bother telling him off.

Rei looked at Kaoru with a dazzling, vibrant smile, and the rest of the night was lost from there.

 

* * *

 

"You all did a fantastic job out there tonight," Rei said, pulling the hat off his head with a smile. "I couldn't be more proud to call you all my teammates."

"Hah?" Koga growled, crushing an empty bottle of water beneath his hands. "You say that like we're not always this fuckin' good. This ain't anything special."

"Actually," Adonis said, "I thought Hakaze-senpai sang better than usual tonight."

Oh the irony; if only Adonis knew that the reason why Kaoru had sang especially hard that night was because of the disgusting emotions he was feeling towards him at that very moment he spoke.

"I thought so too," Rei said. "I always knew you had more to your skills than you let on, you know," he said. "I'm glad that you've finally decided to share it."

Kaoru waved his hand. "It wasn't anything like that," he said. "I was just having a good day."

The other members of the band eyed him in silence, before Rei continued on. "Anyway, since the finals aren't until next week, how about we have a bit of a celebration tonight?" he suggested. "My parents are away on business; we can have a party of sorts at my house, if you're all in agreement."

"A party at yours?" Koga snorted. "What would an old man like you know about a party?"

"Certainly more than you would at the tender age of sixteen, hm?" Rei smiled. "Please don't forget, I lived abroad for a while."

"Tch," Koga spat. "I bet the only parties you went to were like, study group or some shit."

"Well then, you'll just have to come and find out for yourself, now won't you?" Rei said, waving his hand. Kaoru was, as usual, amazed at the older boy's ability to be so patient with someone as sharp-tongued as Koga. Sure, Kaoru was somewhat used to it already, but sometimes it was just so... jarring seeing the difference between Koga and the other people Kaoru spent his time with. Most girls were too busy batting eyelashes or acting cute to raise their voice, while Kanata was... well, he was an entirely different situation. And then there was Souma - Kaoru quickly shut off that train of thought.

"We can leave whenever you are all ready," Rei said, pulling Kaoru back to the current situation. Their stage outfits weren't the sort that they needed to keep in storage save for performances, and so usually after a stage they were free to head straight home.

The Sakuma estate was everything Kaoru had anticipated it to be - that was, creepy. He stepped out of the taxi Rei had generously chartered for them and out onto paved roads, the numerous street lights illuminating all the way down the street. Each house was as large as the last and Rei's was no exception, a grandiose white mansion with a high metal gate guarding the entrance. Rei punched in a code onto a panel on the side and the gate drew back, revealing a driveway lined with roses.

"Well aren't you quite the little prince," Kaoru snorted as Rei walked ahead, unlocking the front door for them. The lights automatically turned on as the door swung open, welcoming them.

"Surely your house is not so different, hm?" Rei replied with a smile. Kaoru didn't respond to that, pulling off his shoes at the entranceway and taking in the room before him.

The walls were an unmarred white, too, with a heavy chandelier swaying above them. It refracted the light in an odd way, sending their shadows across the walls in multiple copies. A large vase of roses stood proud above the shoe rack, its petals starting to fall to the floor with age.

"Ritsu is most likely awake, but I doubt he'll come downstairs. We can use the main room however we like," Rei said, walking down the hallway and flicking the lights on. His house had so many rooms, Kaoru already counting six and he hadn't even taken a glance up the staircase yet. "Feel free to make yourselves comfortable."

"Shit, you live like this?" Koga crowed as soon as he made his way into the living room. Plush sofas were arranged facing the large flat-screen television, no doubt connected to the surround sound system located on every wall. Instead of tatami or modest floorboards there was carpet coloured deep crimson, and expensive paintings seemed to be at every corner. While Kaoru lived in a house that was certainly more well-off than the average person's, it was by no means anywhere close to this.

"Nobody actually uses this stuff often," Rei said. "My parents are often working, and I'm busy at school. Ritsu, well... he's probably too busy sleeping to even care."

Koga rushed to grab the remote, bringing the setup to life. He immediately brought up an app for playing music, and turned to look at his bandmates. "Anyone got a suggestion or something? Adonis," he said, singling the boy out. "What do you listen to?"

Adonis rubbed at the back of his neck. "Music?" he said. "I'll admit I'm not familiar with the kinds of music that are popular here, aside from those which come from Yumenosaki. But back in my country-"

"Okay never mind, wrong person. What about you, Hakaze?" Koga paused. "Senpai."

Kaoru snorted. "I don't care, honestly. I know that regardless of what I say you're going to call it garbage, so why even ask?"

"Huh, so you do have shit taste after all," Koga said. "Thought I'd see it for myself, but if you're just gonna confirm it then yeah." Koga set to flicking his way through artists, seemingly unable to decide on just one. Each was as noisy as the last, in Kaoru's opinion, with loud voices singing in English and even louder instruments fighting for the spotlight as a mess of riffs and chords.

"Ohoh, such loud music at this time of the night?" Rei asked, re-entering the room, his voice cheery. "Ah well, it's not like the neighbours will hear."

Kaoru hadn't even realized he'd left, but Rei had clearly had been gone for some time. In his arms he carried a plastic box, filled to the brim with all sorts of bottles which Kaoru presumed to be...

"Is that... alcohol?" Adonis asked, folding his arms as a puzzled expression formed on his face.

Rei smiled. "This is a party, is it not?" he asked.

"We are underage," Adonis said.

"What are you, Detective Conan or some shit?" Koga said, glaring at Adonis. He quickly pushed past the boy to take a look into the box Rei had set down on the table. "Shit, maybe I misunderstood you, bastard." There was a look of excitement in Koga's eyes, and Kaoru raised his eyebrows. He looked way too excited - regardless of what he said, it was likely that this was going to be his first time drinking.

If Rei noticed, he made no such comment. "I'll be back in a moment, I'll just get us some glasses... and juice, perhaps," he said, although the latter was merely an afterthought.

Kaoru didn't have much experience drinking, only the occasional shot of whatever the (slightly naughtier) girls he went to karaoke with ordered as a gesture of goodwill. He did admit though that it did a good job of lightening his mood, which was something he'd need if he was to spend the entire night with a bunch of sweaty guys and not go mad. He took a cursory glance inside the box and found it to be full of expensive blends of whiskey, aged wine and other drinks far too expensive for the tastes of a bunch of teenagers such as themselves.

"Tomato juice, anyone?" Rei asked, holding out a red bottle. "There's also carbonated drinks, if you'd rather mix with that. Oh, there's also beer in the fridge I think, if any of you want that."

The thought of beer reminded Kaoru of his father. He reached out to the box and pulled out a bottle of vodka, holding it in his hands for a moment before unscrewing the lid and grabbing one of the glasses.

"I've never drank alcohol before," Adonis said warily. "It's not common in my country."

"You don't have to if you don't want to," Rei said, reaching for a bottle of wine himself. "Might be nice if one of us were sober, too, in case something were to happen."

"Come on, don't be such a buzzkill," Koga said, elbowing Adonis in the ribs. "Just a sip or so, it's not like we're gonna send you to the ER or anything you know?"

"Yes, that's a ride reserved for you," Kaoru said before he could stop himself. Koga glared at him. "I'm just saying, we have the whole night ahead of us. There's no need to rush or anything."

"Tch," Koga said. He pulled the bottle of vodka from Kaoru's hands and started pouring it for himself, the clear liquid sloshing with unease into two cups that were entirely unequal. "Let's take a start-up shot," he said, shoving one of the glasses (the less filled one, Kaoru noted) into Adonis' hands. "You too, bastard, what the hell are you drinking _that_ shit for?"

Rei had poured himself a generous amount of wine into an expensive looking glass, the drink a dark crimson that matched his eyes. He looked haunting as he drank it, licking his lips after each sip, looking very much like a vampire from an old movie. "Apologies, I won't be joining you for your shots. I'll drink this, however," he said.

"Fuckin' shitty old man," Koga muttered, but he held out his glass. "Whatever. To UNDEAD," he said, "and that all our performances are as good as todays, y'hear?"

Kaoru put his glass forward with reluctance matched only by Adonis, and they clinked together before being pressed to their holders lips. If they all wanted to perform so well this badly, maybe they should all get their hearts broken too. Kaoru downed the entire cup in one go, knowing that if he drank it slowly he was more likely to gag.

He managed to finish in time to see the look of disgust etched on Koga's face, too, which was a plus.

"Fuck, that's awful," Koga muttered, dumping his cup onto the table.

"I agree, it tastes rather strange," Adonis said, frowning at his cup before placing it beside Koga's. "I feel oddly... warm now, and the taste won't leave my throat."

"Have some juice then," Rei suggested, flickering his eyes towards the container of tomato juice he'd procured earlier.

Koga grimaced. "No thanks, I'd rather die to be honest," he said.

Kaoru laughed out loud at that one. "So what's this going to be, four lonely guys just sit and drink for hours in silence?" Kaoru asked after everyone's empty glasses had been returned to the table. Even Rei had finished off his glass of wine, looking slightly more elegant than the other three had been as they'd downed their shots. "Because if so..."

"Of course not," said Rei. "Now we must sit together and get to know each other, the alcohol in our blood flowing like conversation, so that we may emerge tomorrow a closer group than before-"

"Jesus, do you ever think before you speak? Just once?" Koga snapped. "What he _means_ is that we've gotta play some drinking games," he said.

Kaoru couldn't lie and say that he wasn't somewhat interested; how often was it that, as an idol, he'd be able to experience the so-cold normal rites of passage that came with youth?  Actually, it was more the fact he was being watched carefully by his father like a hawk, but that was a different story. Even though it would be a little boring being with nothing but guys, perhaps the night would maybe not be as bad as he had initially thought it would be since he could blame everything on alcohol.

"How about uh, truth or dare?" Koga suggested.

Or not - Kaoru gave him a strange look. "What are we, giggling teenage girls at a slumber party?" he asked.

"Well I mean..." Rei began, before deciding not to elaborate on his thoughts.

"I don't really want to know that much about you guys. No offense," Kaoru said. Truth or dare was fine with girls, but with these guys it would be just..

"Well then what kind of ideas have you got then?" Koga snapped. It was a good point; Kaoru had nothing. "Don't worry, we won't make you do any _gay shit_ if that's what you're so worried about."

"Hey, I never said that," Kaoru said. "I have nothing against uh, gay shit," he clarified.

"I saw you glance in my direction," Rei commented, trying to suppress a smile. "I'm glad you think of me when you hear the word 'gay'."

"Wow, I really want to leave," Kaoru said, standing up.

"Now now Kaoru-kun," Rei said, holding out his hand to stop him from leaving. "Does our company really bother you so much? We won't make you do anything you're uncomfortable with," he paused, lowering his voice. "If anything, stay to watch these two embarrass themselves."

"I can watch Koga do that while he's sober," Kaoru muttered.

"So imagine how much better it would be when he's drunk, hm?" Rei smiled.

"I'm right here you fuckwits," Koga snarled.

"Agh, fine, whatever. I'll play - it's only for a while, right?" Kaoru said, ignoring Koga's comment. Rei smiled.

They played several short rounds, but each round was longer than Kaoru would ever want to play in his life ever again. See, being a bunch of teenage boys, all the questions were quite obviously skewed towards one particular topic - sex. And to make things worse, all the members of UNDEAD sans Kaoru, were, tragically, gay.

And so, Kaoru spent a good twenty minutes of his life subjected to hearing the gay experiences of his bandmates that he really, _really_ didn't need to know.

"Truth," Rei had said, sipping his glass of wine that seemingly never ran out. He could probably drink straight out of the bottle for the same effect.

"I got one," Koga said near immediately, clapping his hands together. "Are you a virgin?"

Kaoru rolled his eyes. The worst question, because not only did it come straight from Tinder, but also because the answer was so painstakingly obvious just by looking at the guy.

"No," Rei replied. Just as Kaoru had guessed.

Koga squawked. "No way, with who! Do we know them?" he asked, slamming his cup onto the table.

"You only get one question," Kaoru cut in, hoping to end the conversation there.

"No shut up, you're just being a baby now," Koga snorted. "Listening to someone's gay experience isn't gonna turn you gay, straightie," he said.

Kaoru blinked, almost offended, and then stood up. "Alright, sorry," he said, having obviously accidentally stepping some invisible line of Koga's.  "I'm gonna piss, I'll be back when you're all done exchanging dick sucking tips," he said, turning to get lost in Rei's large, large house.

If he was going to be completely honest, Kaoru actually had a sneaking suspicion as to who it was Rei had lost his virginity to, but like hell he was going to admit that he'd thought about Rei's sex life before. It had only been because he'd overheard something in class some distant time ago - he absolutely had not thought of it on his own accord. It turned out that he didn't even need to stay in the room, however, to have his hunches proven correct.

As he turned on the faucet to wash his hands, a loud screech belonging to none other than Koga made its way down the hall, audible even to Kaoru who was several rooms away.

" _Hasumi Keito_ ? When the fuck? _When_?" Koga yelled, and Kaoru felt a loud bark of laughter escape him. He'd been right on the money.

It wasn't any secret to Kaoru that Koga may or may not be somewhat infatuated with Rei, too, so for him to find out that two of his ex-band members had totally fucked each other without him knowing... Kaoru finished drying his hands as soon as possible so he could return to the room to watch the spectacle.

"Oh," Kaoru said when he returned. Rei was sitting on top of Koga, the younger boy unable to move as he struggled to push Rei off so he could breathe again. "You're back. Welcome."

Kaoru gave him a lopsided smile. "I could hear from the bathroom," he said, before sitting down.

"Ah, tragic. Nothing that Hasumi hasn't said before though, am I right?" Rei said. "I heard your class is rather, ah... Loose-lipped."

"Uhuh, nobody believed him though. Nobody believed that glasses could have sex with someone, let alone stick it in _you_ ," Kaoru said.

"Wha - You were on the _bottom_?!" Koga squawked.

"Hush, pupper. You'll wake the neighbours," Rei said, before turning to glance at Kaoru. "I believe it's your turn - truth or dare?" he asked.

Kaoru felt his throat close up.

It was going to be a long night.

 

* * *

 

"What do you want?" Rei asked, pulling out the box of alcohol from where it had been shoved under the dining table.

Kaoru took a glance and hummed. "Can I get uhhh..."

"A?" Rei pressed.

"Uh. That," Kaoru pointed at a random bottle. The bottle turned out to be tequila, and Rei took a clean glass from the table and poured out what was definitely more than a shot.

"Bottoms up," Kaoru murmured, tipping the liquid back into his throat and nearly gagging because it tasted _vile_.

"Are you okay?" Rei asked, watching Kaoru with slit eyes as he tried to not throw up the contents of his stomach in reaction to consuming more alcohol. Honestly, how many drinks had he had tonight? How many drinks had they all had?

"Peachy," Kaoru replied, his voice scratchy. "What about them?" Looking back at the now-quiet room, the two younger members of UNDEAD were peacefully sleeping on the sofa. Rei walked towards them and peered closer.

"Hey, Adonis," Rei said, pressing softly at Adonis' face with his fingers. The boy didn't even make a sound as his cheek fat was smooshed about, his chest rising and falling at a pace that meant he was dead to the world.

"Doggie over here is out like a light, too," Kaoru said, snickering as he gave a light slap to the younger boy's face. His mouth was slightly open, and Kaoru took out his phone to quickly snap a photo for blackmail purposes later.

"Ah, to be young," Rei said, reaching out for his glass. His lips curled into a frown when he found it to be empty. "Want some more?" Rei asked, picking up the bottle of wine and uncapping it. He poured a generous amount into his own glass, and Kaoru was unsure whether that was the product of Rei's desire to drink, or the intoxicated shaking of his hand.

Kaoru thought for a moment, because he had just two minutes ago nearly coughed up his stomach after drinking what was probably the worst drink he'd ever had in his life. However, for some reason, he wanted to drink more. Kaoru held out his own cup. "Pour me a bit," he said, deciding that the night couldn't really get any worse from here on with just the two of them.

"Is something the matter?" Rei asked, watching as Kaoru started sipping at the wine.

The blond's face curled up in distaste, but he finished it off anyway. "Dunno how you drink this stuff and enjoy it," he muttered. "Tastes like ass."

Rei chuckled. "Ah yes, and you're familiar with the taste of ass, correct?" he said. Kaoru shot him a glare. "Juuuuust kidding, I know you're only into girls, no need to get all snippy at me," he said. Rei stood up at that moment, trudging across the room and out the door. Kaoru sat in silence watching his underclassmen sleep for a few minutes, before Rei came back inside. "Let's step out for a moment," he said. "Some fresh air would do us right."

Manoeuvring oneself proper after drinking was something easier said than done; Kaoru lost his balance as he tried to get up on his feet.

"Careful now," Rei said, quickly outstretching his arm to hold Kaoru upright.

"Thanks," Kaoru said, running a hand through his hair. The room was somewhat blurred, but a shake of his head made everything alright again. Quietly, the two of them unlocked the sliding door towards the garden. Rei turned the lights on, small paving lights adorning the cobblestone path that spread ahead of him.

"You have a gardener or something?" Kaoru joked, looking at the large mass of flowers all around him.

"Yeah, he comes in twice a week I think," Rei replied.

"I was kidding but shit, dude," Kaoru murmured. There was a conveniently placed table with two matching chairs under a large maple tree; Kaoru took slightly wobbly steps towards it, eventually sitting down and leaning his hand against the table. "Ah, nice and cold," he said.

Rei chuckled and sat opposite him. "You don't drink much, do you?" he said.

Kaoru shook his head. "Some of the girls like to, the older ones that is, but the good ones don't let me have any. Only the bad girls." He laughed. "Just kidding, there's no such thing as bad girls"

Rei snorted. "Sure, sure. Want one?" Rei said suddenly, holding up a small box of cigarettes.

Kaoru baulked. "You smoke now?" he asked, lifting himself up from the table to stare wide-eyed at Rei.

Rei shrugged. "Only when I drink," he said. "People do it a lot in England, and sometimes I joined them. It settles my nerves, somehow."

"These will fuck up your voice you know," Kaoru said, but he took one anyway. They were an imported brand, probably hand-carried back from Europe in his suitcase. Rei held out his lighter, and Kaoru stuck the cigarette over the flame and waited for it to catch.

"That's why I only do it very rarely. Have you ever smoked before?" Rei asked coolly, breathing out a lungful. The smoke rose up around his head, before billowing out into the sky.

"Can't say I have," Kaoru said. His dad sometimes smoked in the house, the thick stench settling into the furniture and all the clothes, lingering around for days until someone had the mind to open the windows and let it all flow out.

"Just put it to your lips and breathe in, nice and slow. Don't take in too much, or you'll cough," Rei told him.

Kaoru stuck the cigarette to his mouth and sucked in. Thick smoke began to fill his lungs. It was hot, almost searing as it travelled down his throat, settling in his lungs and burning like a pit. He immediately coughed it up, gasping for fresh air as the smoke fought its way out of him.

"Don't fucki- don't laugh at me, asshole," Kaoru wheezed, almost dropping the cigarette as he sucked in air.

Rei laughed anyway. "How cute," he said. "Don't worry, practice makes perfect." And as if he were mocking him, Rei sucked in his own again, before breathing it out with practiced ease. The fact Rei was so good at it was probably somewhat concerning, but now Kaoru was determined to not make himself look like an idiot in front of him.

Kaoru tried again, this time not breathing in so hard. He let the smoke fill his lungs slowly, the heat of it not scalding anymore, and the burn settling across his skin. He let go, the smoke streaming out of his mouth and floating away.

"There you go," Rei said. "Knew you could do it."

"Feels awful," Kaoru said with a grimace. "Like my chest is on fire."

"Isn't it nice like that?" Rei said. "The low burn in your chest... reminds me I'm alive, sometimes."

Kaoru stared. "You say some pretty weird shit sometimes, but that made you sound at _least_ eighty," he said.

Rei let out a loud bark of laughter. "Really? I must be aging faster than I thought," he said. He crushed his cigarette against a pocket ashtray he seemingly pulled out of nowhere. Then suddenly, "Something's been bothering you, right Kaoru-kun?" said Rei.

The question came out of nowhere, and Kaoru almost choked on a lungful of smoke again. "What?" he said.

"I mean, you've been awfully worked up lately. Coming to practice so often, going all out on stage... I've never even see you hang around at school so much in the years I've known you," Rei said.

Rei's words swirled in Kaoru's head. Ah, was he asking why Kaoru was suddenly deciding to act like he cared about his responsibilities for once? He laughed. "Well graduation is soon, right? Isn't it nice? I mean, better late than never, as they say," he joked.

"You don't need to joke with me, Kaoru-kun," Rei said. "I've been in your shoes before. Think of this as a conversation between grown ups, no kids involved."

By kids he meant Adonis and Koga, probably. Kaoru snorted. "What do you want me to do? Are we going to take a bath together, then paint each other's nails while talking about who we like?" he asked.

"Is that what you want?" Rei asked, his eyebrows rising slightly. "Because if so-"

"No," Kaoru said quickly. "That was a joke, too. Sorry, forgot that some things go over your head," Kaoru muttered. He was rather loose-lipped tonight. Perhaps all the alcohol he'd consumed was finally getting to him.

"If it will make you feel better, I'll tell you about myself, first," Rei murmured.

Kaoru thought about it for a moment. Listening to the stories he'd heard muttered in the hallways from Rei himself would be.. odd, to say the least. They'd never really discussed it after Rei had come back, and even when they'd formed UNDEAD it felt like a secret that would forever be swept under the rug. Rei seemed content with leaving his past behind, too, and as much as Koga pestered him he never let his face show otherwise.

But somehow, Kaoru knew that hearing it wouldn't do anything for him. Kaoru had been lucky to be nothing but an onlooker in the so-called war, and even if Rei were to speak out to him about it now, there wasn't anything he could do about it.

There was also a look to Rei's eyes that told him he didn't really want to talk about it, either.

"No, it's okay," Kaoru said. "You don't need to - it's fine." He pressed the end of his cigarette against the table and watched it burn out. "I've been having a... crisis of sorts," Kaoru began. Rei's eyes glanced towards his, and Kaoru continued on before he could get intimidated. "I think.. I mean...I guess I like someone," he said finally. "Liked."

"And that's something new?"

Kaoru swallowed. He could end the conversation there, and everything would be fine. But would he really feel content like that? The awful, nagging feeling that's been sitting inside him for months now was starting to weigh him down, and perhaps at least confiding in Rei would make him feel better. After all, it wasn't like there were many other people who he trusted... and also, fuck it, he's drunk.

"It's... this time it's a guy."

Rei stared at him for a moment, before his eyebrows knit together. "That's it?" he asked.

"What do you mean, 'that's it'?" Kaoru bit back. All of a sudden he felt like throwing up. Not from the alcohol, but because all the nerves he'd been winding himself up about for the better part of a month had finally clawed their way free, only to be dismissed as some kind of unimportant occurrence. He clenched his fists hard, nails digging into his palms.

"I mean, it's just... it's not that big a deal, I'm relieved. I thought you were going to confess to me that you had some kind of terminal disease, or that you'd killed someone or something," Rei said, waving his hand. "It's not to say that what you told me isn't important, but," he paused. "You're having a... gay crisis, so to speak?" Rei said.

"Not gay," Kaoru said. "Just.. I don't know. It's just a maybe."

"It's Kanzaki, right?" Rei said.

Kaoru turned to look at him so fast that he lost his balance for a moment. "What?" he said. "Whoa, what gives you the idea that it's Souma-kyun?" he asked.

"Hmm, yes, that would definitely explain why you've been showing up at practice so often, huh," Rei said, more to himself than to Kaoru. "I would have guessed so earlier, if it wasn't for the fact you were so overly adamant of your heterosexuality."

"Wait up, you're getting ahead of yourself here," Kaoru interjected.

"Am I really, though?" Rei asked, turning to face Kaoru with a raised eyebrow.

Kaoru stared him the eyes, before averting his gaze. "...No," he said. "You're... right."

Rei smiled. "Do you get along? As fellow members of the marine life club, I mean."

"No, we don't," Kaoru admitted. "He hates me. Always tries to cut me with that huge sword of his and hates it when I'm around. But for some reason the way he reacts to me only makes it more fun to mess with him," Kaoru said.

"Oh, so you're one of those?" Rei snorted. "The type who tugged on girls pigtails in elementary school just to get them to notice you?"

"Of course not, I'd never touch a girl like that without her permission," Kaoru said. "Souma's a guy though, he can take it. Or not, since he always reacted like that."

Rei laughed. "I see. So then I suppose the source of your troubles is the fact that he's..." Rei paused, gauging Kaoru's reaction. Kaoru's eyes immediately fell away as he inferred the rest of Rei's sentence.

"Seeing Adonis-kun, yeah," Kaoru sighed, returning his head to the table. "Did you know?"

"Yes, I did," Rei admitted. "Adonis-kun actually came to me asking for advice regarding the situation several months ago."

"Months?" Kaoru repeated. At that point, it was likely Souma hadn't been available even before Kaoru had started to like him. "Man, I'm such an idiot."

"Well it's not like they're quite open about it, the two are both quite shy," Rei said lightly.

"True, I only caught them by accident in the clubroom," Kaoru said. He could still see that situation in his mind - hell, like it could ever leave, the image of Souma seated on Adonis' lap, the creepy shape of Amaterasu-omikami swimming around them as he pulled him into a kiss...

"And that explains the odd... one sided tension that seems to be a thing between you and Adonis-kun too," Rei said.

"There was no such-"

"Please don't lie to me, Kaoru-kun. As the leader of UNDEAD, I know everything," Rei said. "I could feel a bit of awkwardness between you two, namely you trying to pretend Adonis-kun doesn't exist, and Adonis-kun often looking like he has something to say to you."

"Ah..." Kaoru laughed, his tone awkward. He did know that Adonis was trying to corner him many times, and Kaoru always happened to conveniently disappear anytime the boy got close. It was definitely on purpose, and now hearing Rei say this told Kaoru that perhaps he hadn't been as stealthy as he had thought himself to be.

"So what are you going to do about this?" Rei asked. "I don't expect you to act like this forever," he said.

"Why not?" Kaoru laughed.

"UNDEAD can't be a proper team when you're sending jealous glances his way every time he walks past," Rei said boredly, looking down at his nails. "We have one lost puppy already, we don't need another."

Kaoru scratched at his chin. "Yeah... I know I'm being really uh. Unfair about it," he started. "But give me a break. I'm a heartbroken man, you know."

"Heartbroken, huh?" Rei repeated. "Kaoru-kun is quite the romantic."

"You're _surprised_? I'm super romantic - I go on dates every week, you know."

"Yes yes, but that seems almost quite the opposite of romantic, do you know what I mean?" Rei said. He raised his head to look Kaoru in the eyes. "Are you going to be okay?" His voice dropped lower, so Kaoru could tell he was being serious.

Kaoru felt exposed under Rei's piercing gaze, like those blood red eyes could see right through him. He breathed in, and then out, before finally giving in. "I... yeah. I just need some time to get over it," he said. "And maybe a date. Or ten. Something to distract me."

"A distraction, huh?" Rei said, and then he leaned forward. "How's this, then?"

Kaoru didn't even register that Rei was pulling him into a kiss until it was far, far too late.

Rei tasted like his cigarettes still, the flavour of ash and smoke strong enough to send chills throughout Kaoru's body. However, the cigarette taste was secondary to the feeling of Rei's tongue, hot and slick, entering into his mouth and licking across the roof of his mouth.

It was dizzying - Kaoru felt his mind go numb, his senses narrowing down into nothing but the feeling of Rei, his hands, his lips, his tongue, his _leg_ s, which had somehow managed to get between his and press up against his, hard and insistent...

Kaoru pushed Rei away with a gasp, his eyes wide. "Woah Sakuma-san, that is-"

"Ah, too much?" Rei asked, at least having the decency to sound apologetic.

"I'm not gay," Kaoru said instantly, his staple knee-jerk reaction.

"No, but you're not entirely straight, either," Rei followed up, unfazed. "Say what you want but having a crush on Kanzaki, who is a _man_ , may I add, means that you have at least some inclination towards men, no?"

Kaoru grimaced. He'd thought about this many times - more than he was comfortable with, really, in the past several weeks. It had taken him so long to come to terms with liking Souma, going as far as to rationalize it with the fact that Souma looked like a girl and therefore it wasn't gay, regardless of what was happening down under. However, underneath it all, what felt the worst was the fact that Rei seemed to be so effortlessly taking him apart, piece by piece, as if he was nothing but a children's toy.

Rei was seeing through him, and the thought of that terrified him.

"You don't have to say yes, but if you're still unsure about it... perhaps I could help you figure yourself out," Rei said.

Kaoru felt his heart stop. "I beg your pardon?" he asked.

"You heard me," said Rei. "You can think of it as just experimenting," he said.

"I don't need to experiment," Kaoru said weakly. "I like girls. Souma was an anomaly. I'm not having a gay crisis, or anything of the sort."

"But how do you know that for sure?" Rei pressed. "It was just a suggestion anyway. If Kaoru-kun doesn't want to, then it's fine. We should go back inside before we catch a cold, though," Rei said, pushing out his chair to stand.

Kaoru's hand darted out to stop Rei before he could process what he was doing. "Wait - I," he paused, unsure of what he was going to say.

Rei was offering. It would be easy. He could figure this out once and for all, and put his confusion all behind him. All he'd have to do is...

Kaoru's fingers tightened on the edge of Rei's jacket.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked.

 

* * *

 

Kaoru had never gotten hard for another guy before.

He'd never thought about Souma in that way (he'd made a conscious effort not to, after all), his feelings for his _kouhai_ never exceeding an elementary-grade crush, and for that reason Kaoru was still convinced that getting hard for a guy was impossible for him.

However Sakuma Rei, of course, as usual, caused him to reassess his everything.

"What the hell," Kaoru murmured, his eyes unfocused as Rei was down on his knees with his mouth hot around his cock. "Why are you..."

"Hmm?" Rei asked, humming around his length. The vibrations nearly made Kaoru scream.

"Why are you so good at.. sucking dick," Kaoru finally managed to ask. It was hard to think when you were drunk, and even harder to think when you were drunk and getting your dick sucked. Kaoru would probably be impressed tomorrow that he was even remembering how to string a sentence together.

Rei pulled off with a smile. "Do you want to hear the long answer, or the short one?" he asked.

"Short?" Kaoru replied.

"Mm. Practice," Rei settled, before getting back to work.

Getting hard from having his dick sucked didn't really make him gay, did it? A mouth was a mouth, a hot, warm crevice, and Kaoru's dick probably couldn't tell the difference between a guy's mouth and a girl's. There probably wasn't a difference. Mouths were unisex, after all.

As if reading his mind, Rei let go of his dick, leaning back. "Move back," he said.

Kaoru looked up at him blearily. "We can't be letting you be the only one having fun now can we?" Rei said. "That wouldn't be fair."

Sometime between them starting this and that moment Rei had unzipped his ripped black jeans, and a cursory glance in that direction showed him to be.. Okay wow, he was hard. Rei had gotten so hard from sucking Kaoru's dick, and the thought of that for some reason made Kaoru's head spin.

Rei pulled off his pants entirely, and settled on the bed so that he was facing Kaoru. Then, he pulled on Kaoru's legs so that they were straddling his sides. "Your hand, please," Rei said.

Confused, Kaoru gave put out his right hand. Rei took it in his, and brought it straight to their cocks.

Feeling Rei's hand on his cock was nothing short of great. Feeling his hand on Rei's cock, however, was nothing short of jarring.

"Hang on, what are you-"

"Don't worry, we're just gonna... ah, like that. Jerk off. Nothing too raunchy for an experimental dabble, after all," Rei said. "Your gay cherry, if I may put it lightly."

Kaoru felt himself blush. "That's-"

"Yes, just move your hand... like you're doing it to yourself. I'm sure you can do that for me, can't you Kaoru-kun?"

For some reason, hearing Rei call him by his voice when it was slightly breathy made him feel things. His skin felt hot and fingers electric as he hesitantly began to start moving. Rei started moving his hand, too, jerking off Kaoru's dick in tandem and it felt really, _really_ good.

Rei's hands were calloused from years of violin, different from Kaoru's who had spent his years as a child in lessons indoors. The pads of Rei's fingers were rough, and the edges hard and he could feel the difference on every inch of his cock as the rough friction had Kaoru breathing harder than he ever had before.

"Does it feel good?" Rei asked, leaning his head on Kaoru's shoulder. "Your hands... they're smooth. It feels nice," Rei said. His voice was short, like was biting back a gasp. Hearing it for some reason made Kaoru want to move his hand even faster... to see how much he could _untie_ Sakuma Rei.

"Sakuma-san likes to do it hard, huh?" Kaoru panted. His grip was firmer than what Kaoru used on himself, and he spent more time teasing around the head of his cock than just moving all around. It was far from what he was used to, but that feeling of unfamiliarity was making Kaoru lose his mind.

"Kaoru-kun's softer than I'd imagined," Rei chuckled.

"What, you've imagined me doing this?" Kaoru asked.

"More or less," Rei replied. "Haven't you?"

Kaoru took a moment to imagine Rei jerking himself off the way he was doing to him now. He'd probably done it hundreds of times on the very bed they were sitting on right then, one hand covering his mouth as he tried his best to not wake Ritsu next door or his parents downstairs.

For some reason, the image of it was really, _really_ hot.

"Heh, you're thinking about it now, aren't you?" Rei said. His voice was a soft rumble right beside Kaoru's ear, and Kaoru swallowed hard. His voice was too erotic; Kaoru had thought so once, when they were on stage and he was singing his ballads into the microphone and no doubt making hundreds of girls horny in a heartbeat. However, it was even more powerful when he was quite literally oozing sex, and that voice was for him and him alone.

"Aha, if you talk to me like that, I'll.." Kaoru said, closing his eyes.

"Oh? Kaoru-kun's going to come?" Rei said.

"Maybe," Kaoru said.

"You're acting so cute. It's making me want to tease you," Rei said.

"Less talking and more working then," Kaoru replied. As if to make his point, Kaoru put more effort into jerking Rei off. The combined slick of their cocks together was making the whole ordeal quite messy, and the flush of their skin against skin was sending a feverish thrill through Kaoru's body.

"Hah.... nngh, Kaoru-kun," Rei murmured, nuzzling his face into his shoulder. "It feels... it feels _good,_ " he said.

He hadn't expected that. Kaoru came nearly immediately without even a warning, his eyebrows tensing up and teeth gritting as he tried his best to keep himself quiet. He must have done a bad job at it, because Rei used his free hand to grab Kaoru by the back of his head and pull him into a kiss, silencing him as he shoved his tongue into his mouth and pressing in.

It felt hot, wet and messy, and feeling of their mouths together combined with the hot slick of their cocks rubbing was making Kaoru nearly faint. He made a sound that was probably close to a whimper as overstimulation set in, but it took only moments more before Rei himself was gasping, spilling himself over both of their stomachs and slumping forward onto Kaoru.

"Shit," Rei murmured, his voice gravelly. "Kaoru-kun," he said.

"Nnh..." was all Kaoru could muster in response, before he closed his eyes and found himself in a deep, alcohol-ridden and exhausting sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> idk if ill end up finishing this but if i dont just imagine that rei and kaoru end up being boyfriends :^)


End file.
